Heeding The Call--Part Three: That Life-Changing Moment



I'll never forget October 6, 2012.  It began like any normal Saturday morning: I woke up early to get a run in before work.  I knew that General Conference would be on, but decided I'd wait until later to listen to all the Saturday talks since I'd be working most of the day anyway.  I hit the streets and quickly got lost in the run and the music.  About every half mile or so, I popped a couple of Sour Patch Kids in my mouth to keep my blood sugar up--a new system I was just testing.  For the first time in a long time, I felt great.  SO great.  I wanted to keep running for forever.  I got down by Wal-Mart and was tempted to loop back to my apartment through Main Street.  I knew it would be quite a few miles, but I hadn't felt this great in months, and I just wanted to keep running on forever and ever.
But, something inside of me told me that I needed to turn around.  I was confused.  I figured that this was the Spirit telling me that I would start to get really dizzy if I did continue running.  I arrived at the liquor store exactly three miles from my apartment, then listened to the Spirit and ran back.  I made a quick bathroom stop at a gas station on the way back.  I remember sitting in there and the only thing on my mind was the way that I was going to post about the morning on my running blog. 
When I got back to my apartment, I was exhausted, I had pushed myself a little too hard on the way back.  I walked in the door, past the couch where my roommate, Maddie was watching General Conference, and back into the kitchen to get myself some chocolate milk--my recovery drink.  I was exhausted and not in the mood to talk, so I left my headphones in and tried to tune everything out.  Despite my determination to save the Saturday session for later, something inside of me kept on telling me that I needed to take my headphones out and listen to what the Prophet was saying.  Finally, I got so annoyed with the blasting music that I tore them out, looked up from the glass of chocolate milk that I was drinking over the sink, and, still catching my breath, looked up at the T.V.  The very second that I did this, Thomas S. Monson, President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, said:

"As we have prayerfully pondered the age at which young men may begin their missionary service, we have also given consideration to the age at which a young woman might serve. Today I am pleased to announce that able, worthy young women who have the desire to serve may be recommended for missionary service beginning at age 19, instead of age 21."

 From that moment on, my life would never, ever be the same.

Heeding the Call--Part Two: A Very Angry Thursday

Two weeks had passed since that day at the Temple.  I had since turned 19 and was continuing to settle into college life.  Each day had its ups and downs, but for the most part, I was loving college life.  Then, as Cedar City prepared to host a College Cross Country Meet, anger began to again stir up inside of me.  This was the meet I'd been so looking forward to running in with the Dixie State Cross Country team.  People had planned on coming up to see me and cheer me on.  I would be racing with dozens of people that I knew.  I had planned for that race.  Now it was here, and I would not be competing.  I don't know why this hurt me so much!  I guess it was partially because this was the first time I really got hit in the face with what my life could have been like.
As I went for my run that afternoon, I continued to get angry and loathe my situation.  All I had wanted was to run, but for some reason, God asked me to give it up.  I kept asking myself why on earth I ever had to get sick.  If none of that would have happened, I wouldn't even have thought about doing anything else with my life, so I would have been completely content with staying where I was. But, now that I was at SUU, it was hard to be happy because I knew what I was missing.  I ran faster and faster, rage coursing through my veins. 
Then, when I calmed myself a little bit, I heard a still, small voice whisper to me that I needed to hold on just a little longer, be patient for just another day or two, and all would make sense.  God had a plan for my life, and it would be revealed to me soon enough.

Heeding The Call--Part One: Temple Thursday



In the last few days, my life has been drastically altered.  I wanted to write the story in one big post, but I realized that just was not possible.  So, one dat at a time I am going to back up and tell of the experiences that I had that led to one big, fast moment.
September 13, 2012. Exactly one week before my 19th Birthday.  What a great day it was!  My roommate, Shaylie, and I had played our first intramural football game. I was mad that we lost, but all was well because I knew that, that night, I would be going to the Temple for the first time in three weeks--it was the first time in two years that I had gone that long without doing baptisms, and I was definitely feeling a hole.  As Jake and I drove down to St.George, we listened to songs from some of our favorite bands and talked about how excited we were for an upcoming concert we would be attending.  I was still scared of the freeway, so I was making Jake drive.  We called our friends to tell them that we were getting close so that we could meet them there.  I was incredibly excited because our friend Eric Hall who was just a week away from leaving on a mission was going to baptize us. Jake and I met Kyle, Eric, Whitni, and Jandee in front of the Temple and we all went inside together.  I got to be the first person Ric ever baptized. 
I was the first person out of the locker rooms and sat in the waiting area alone for quite awhile.  I began reflecting on life--especially the events that brought me to Cedar City.  Despite everything that had happened, I still had doubts about whether or not I had made the right choice.  I mean, I had loved it so far, but there were still so many things I didn't understand.  I was trying to look ahead and figure out where my life was headed.  As I pondered this, the Spirit spoke to me with indescribible clarity.  It told me that I am on the right path right now and to accept that for now instead of trying to look into the future.  It told me not to plan so far ahead and that the Lord would lead, guide, and hold me.
The boys shortly joined me in the waiting room, and the girls eventually came out as well.  We met up with family and more friends at Yogurtland.  Jake made me drive home and I was scared to death, but ended up only needing his help once or twice.  Just before I went to bed that night, I realized that I wanted to remember those promptings, but being too lazy to write anything down, I just typed them in a quick note on my phone.  Little did I know that they would all make sense soon...

Going Home

My first week of work and classes went super well!  I liked all of my teachers, I met some nice people at Lin's, I met all my roommates, etc.  The weird thing about all of this, though, is that it never actually felt weird.  I didn't feel like I was beginning a totally new life, it just felt normal.  I guess that's a good thing, though!
That Friday, my Dad was passing through Cedar City and the whole family would be coming back up Saturday night for Keoni's baptism, so I figured I'd hitch a ride with them and come down for a night.  I saw Jandee at work, surprised Courtney at Dixie State, went to Yogurtland with my family, took Rockee for a walk, babysat Tanner, went to the Sheeran's for a few minutes, ran with Courtney, hung out with Nefi, and visited Kyle. 
It was a great weekend!  But, it made it really hard to go back to Cedar.  In St. George, there are so many people who love me and are there for me.  There's people that have known me my whole life, that have a history with me.  In Cedar, I'm just another college student.  I love it at SUU and am having so much fun, but it's hard not to miss feeling at home. 

Flight School Weekend

Opening Assembly: SUU is so cool that we have fireworks INSIDE.

Bell Tower Tradition: First and Last time walking under the bell tower until graduation



Mud Volleyball with friends. SO fun! My sick dive.



Uh...no blood, no foul?

When life brings us a storm, we play mud volleyball...and dance(?) in it.

 

Jake and Me. And my awesome "I'm Married" shirt that I bought on our DI trip that day.

Jake's roommate, Chris, and my roommate, Sarah.

When I was driving Jake and Chris back after our game, my rear view mirror decided to fall off. I screwed it back in, but we reinforced it with Chris's green duct tape, just to be sure! :)

Today...I'm Taking my Life Back!



Picture of me from The Spectrum
Snow Canyon XC Invite 2011



On my run today, I jogged over to Cedar High School and ran a little part of the Cross Country course I used to race on there.  I tried doing a littlte kick on the last 300, just like in the race, and it just about killed me.  I knew that I wasn't even going that fast, but I got so tired and dizzy that I had to lay down on the grass for a few minutes.  My back was killing me so I popped it and then walked around for a minute trying to gather my energy.  I slowly ran back to my apartment, but every step was filled with pure anger.
How did this happen?? Yes, I haven't been running as much as I probably could have, but I still shouldn't be getting dizzy running such a short distance at a much-slower-than-what-was-once-my-race-pace pace.  I am so incredibly tired of always feeling sick, dizzy, and tired!  I feel like I've gone soft in all the wrong ways--like I've lost my fire and determination.  I have felt like I should already be racing in the "Master's" bracket, like all my glory days are over and that it's time to just slow down and take it easy.  But, today made me realize that I don't want that.  I want running back in my life as more than just a way to stay in shape.  I want to love it again.  I want to push myself again.  I want to race again.  I want to feel strong again.
I decided that it is time to set some new goals, start a training plan, and get my running life back.  It's time to stop ignoring these health problems, and start facing them head on.  I decided to arrange a meeting with a dietician to figure out what more I can do to keep my blood sugar in check, begin doing the core work that will help my back, and to create a training plan that I will stick to at all costs.  I picked a race that takes place in February and signed up for it.  Until then, I am laying low, avoiding racing, and taking a few months to gain my strength back.  I know that I have to be patient, that I will have to start over from square one and slowly build myself back into shape.  I know that I will have to invest a little extra time and money into my diet to keep myself from getting dizzy or passing out.  I know that the problems I'm having are real and that I need to stop treating my health like a game.

The bottom line is, I love running way to much to let this sickness keep me from continuing to work and improve.  I can't just tell myself that I have health issues, so it's time to put my PR's behind me and just accept the success that I have had.  I am just about to reach my physical prime, and am way too young to let myself decline.  I can't get rid of any of these problems, but I can take care of myself and make the most of what I have. 
I have not seen my last PR. Here's to several more years of improving, and an entire lifetime of running!!!

We'll Bring The World His Truth

My goal is to write this post without crying, but I honestly don't think that will be possible!
I'm sure that there were many times throughout my childhood that I felt the Spirit.  However, I can very clearly remember the first time that I actually felt it pierce my soul.  I was ten years old, sitting in Primary in the Bloomington Hills Third Ward.  During singing time, Sister Killian told us about the MTC and talked about how they brought everyone in, had them remove their coats so they were all in white, and they sang "We'll Bring the World His Truth."  Then, she asked us to stand like Future Missionaries and sing the song.  I remember the Spirit felt so strong.  That day, I decided to start being a better example.  I can't even describe the feeling I had as I looked around the room at my classmates that would be serving missionaries in the very distant future.



This is us three years after that experience!
Jandee Madsen, Vince Garcia,
Me, Darian Nielson, Russ Jones
(Not Pictured--Parker Sheeran)
 

Well, it turned out that future wasn't quite so distant after all.  Our little Sunday School class eventually all turned twelve and entered Young Men's and Young Women's.  I remember watching as each of the boys passed the Sacrament for the first time and I could not believe how quickly we were growing up!  One blink of an eye later, and those boys were graduating high school.



The Boys' Graduation 2011
Vince Garcia, Me, Parker Sheeran, Russ Jones, Jandee Madsen
(Not Pictured--Darian Nielson)

 

 

Growing up with these guys was so great!  I love them all so much.  Now, whenever I hear the song "We'll Bring The World His Truth" I think of that experience and am brought to tears because I think about....







Elder Darian Nielson
Ukraine, Kiev Mission
Ukrainian Speaking
 

 

Elder Vincent Garcia
Fiji, Suva Mission
French Speaking

 

Elder Parker Sheeran
Texas Fort Worth Mission

 

Elder Russ Jones
Pennsylvania Pittsburg Misison

 



I am SO incredibly proud of these young men who are all out serving the Lord!  The fact that all of these boys decided to serve a mission definitely says something about the amazing leaders and teachers (we still talk about how much we love the McEwens, who taught us for 3 or 4 years!) that we had in those earlier years where seeds were planted in our hearts.  I know that the road to this point was not easy for these guys, I watched each of them endure hard trials in their lives, some of them right before they decided to go.  I know that they are all where they are supposed to be and that they are preaching a message that is true and will change lives. 

 I'll never forget the feeling I had in Primary that day and I will always be thankful for the decision these young men, and thousands of other like them, made to serve a mission.