Heeding The Call--Part Three: That Life-Changing Moment



I'll never forget October 6, 2012.  It began like any normal Saturday morning: I woke up early to get a run in before work.  I knew that General Conference would be on, but decided I'd wait until later to listen to all the Saturday talks since I'd be working most of the day anyway.  I hit the streets and quickly got lost in the run and the music.  About every half mile or so, I popped a couple of Sour Patch Kids in my mouth to keep my blood sugar up--a new system I was just testing.  For the first time in a long time, I felt great.  SO great.  I wanted to keep running for forever.  I got down by Wal-Mart and was tempted to loop back to my apartment through Main Street.  I knew it would be quite a few miles, but I hadn't felt this great in months, and I just wanted to keep running on forever and ever.
But, something inside of me told me that I needed to turn around.  I was confused.  I figured that this was the Spirit telling me that I would start to get really dizzy if I did continue running.  I arrived at the liquor store exactly three miles from my apartment, then listened to the Spirit and ran back.  I made a quick bathroom stop at a gas station on the way back.  I remember sitting in there and the only thing on my mind was the way that I was going to post about the morning on my running blog. 
When I got back to my apartment, I was exhausted, I had pushed myself a little too hard on the way back.  I walked in the door, past the couch where my roommate, Maddie was watching General Conference, and back into the kitchen to get myself some chocolate milk--my recovery drink.  I was exhausted and not in the mood to talk, so I left my headphones in and tried to tune everything out.  Despite my determination to save the Saturday session for later, something inside of me kept on telling me that I needed to take my headphones out and listen to what the Prophet was saying.  Finally, I got so annoyed with the blasting music that I tore them out, looked up from the glass of chocolate milk that I was drinking over the sink, and, still catching my breath, looked up at the T.V.  The very second that I did this, Thomas S. Monson, President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, said:

"As we have prayerfully pondered the age at which young men may begin their missionary service, we have also given consideration to the age at which a young woman might serve. Today I am pleased to announce that able, worthy young women who have the desire to serve may be recommended for missionary service beginning at age 19, instead of age 21."

 From that moment on, my life would never, ever be the same.

Heeding the Call--Part Two: A Very Angry Thursday

Two weeks had passed since that day at the Temple.  I had since turned 19 and was continuing to settle into college life.  Each day had its ups and downs, but for the most part, I was loving college life.  Then, as Cedar City prepared to host a College Cross Country Meet, anger began to again stir up inside of me.  This was the meet I'd been so looking forward to running in with the Dixie State Cross Country team.  People had planned on coming up to see me and cheer me on.  I would be racing with dozens of people that I knew.  I had planned for that race.  Now it was here, and I would not be competing.  I don't know why this hurt me so much!  I guess it was partially because this was the first time I really got hit in the face with what my life could have been like.
As I went for my run that afternoon, I continued to get angry and loathe my situation.  All I had wanted was to run, but for some reason, God asked me to give it up.  I kept asking myself why on earth I ever had to get sick.  If none of that would have happened, I wouldn't even have thought about doing anything else with my life, so I would have been completely content with staying where I was. But, now that I was at SUU, it was hard to be happy because I knew what I was missing.  I ran faster and faster, rage coursing through my veins. 
Then, when I calmed myself a little bit, I heard a still, small voice whisper to me that I needed to hold on just a little longer, be patient for just another day or two, and all would make sense.  God had a plan for my life, and it would be revealed to me soon enough.

Heeding The Call--Part One: Temple Thursday



In the last few days, my life has been drastically altered.  I wanted to write the story in one big post, but I realized that just was not possible.  So, one dat at a time I am going to back up and tell of the experiences that I had that led to one big, fast moment.
September 13, 2012. Exactly one week before my 19th Birthday.  What a great day it was!  My roommate, Shaylie, and I had played our first intramural football game. I was mad that we lost, but all was well because I knew that, that night, I would be going to the Temple for the first time in three weeks--it was the first time in two years that I had gone that long without doing baptisms, and I was definitely feeling a hole.  As Jake and I drove down to St.George, we listened to songs from some of our favorite bands and talked about how excited we were for an upcoming concert we would be attending.  I was still scared of the freeway, so I was making Jake drive.  We called our friends to tell them that we were getting close so that we could meet them there.  I was incredibly excited because our friend Eric Hall who was just a week away from leaving on a mission was going to baptize us. Jake and I met Kyle, Eric, Whitni, and Jandee in front of the Temple and we all went inside together.  I got to be the first person Ric ever baptized. 
I was the first person out of the locker rooms and sat in the waiting area alone for quite awhile.  I began reflecting on life--especially the events that brought me to Cedar City.  Despite everything that had happened, I still had doubts about whether or not I had made the right choice.  I mean, I had loved it so far, but there were still so many things I didn't understand.  I was trying to look ahead and figure out where my life was headed.  As I pondered this, the Spirit spoke to me with indescribible clarity.  It told me that I am on the right path right now and to accept that for now instead of trying to look into the future.  It told me not to plan so far ahead and that the Lord would lead, guide, and hold me.
The boys shortly joined me in the waiting room, and the girls eventually came out as well.  We met up with family and more friends at Yogurtland.  Jake made me drive home and I was scared to death, but ended up only needing his help once or twice.  Just before I went to bed that night, I realized that I wanted to remember those promptings, but being too lazy to write anything down, I just typed them in a quick note on my phone.  Little did I know that they would all make sense soon...

Going Home

My first week of work and classes went super well!  I liked all of my teachers, I met some nice people at Lin's, I met all my roommates, etc.  The weird thing about all of this, though, is that it never actually felt weird.  I didn't feel like I was beginning a totally new life, it just felt normal.  I guess that's a good thing, though!
That Friday, my Dad was passing through Cedar City and the whole family would be coming back up Saturday night for Keoni's baptism, so I figured I'd hitch a ride with them and come down for a night.  I saw Jandee at work, surprised Courtney at Dixie State, went to Yogurtland with my family, took Rockee for a walk, babysat Tanner, went to the Sheeran's for a few minutes, ran with Courtney, hung out with Nefi, and visited Kyle. 
It was a great weekend!  But, it made it really hard to go back to Cedar.  In St. George, there are so many people who love me and are there for me.  There's people that have known me my whole life, that have a history with me.  In Cedar, I'm just another college student.  I love it at SUU and am having so much fun, but it's hard not to miss feeling at home. 

Flight School Weekend

Opening Assembly: SUU is so cool that we have fireworks INSIDE.

Bell Tower Tradition: First and Last time walking under the bell tower until graduation



Mud Volleyball with friends. SO fun! My sick dive.



Uh...no blood, no foul?

When life brings us a storm, we play mud volleyball...and dance(?) in it.

 

Jake and Me. And my awesome "I'm Married" shirt that I bought on our DI trip that day.

Jake's roommate, Chris, and my roommate, Sarah.

When I was driving Jake and Chris back after our game, my rear view mirror decided to fall off. I screwed it back in, but we reinforced it with Chris's green duct tape, just to be sure! :)

Today...I'm Taking my Life Back!



Picture of me from The Spectrum
Snow Canyon XC Invite 2011



On my run today, I jogged over to Cedar High School and ran a little part of the Cross Country course I used to race on there.  I tried doing a littlte kick on the last 300, just like in the race, and it just about killed me.  I knew that I wasn't even going that fast, but I got so tired and dizzy that I had to lay down on the grass for a few minutes.  My back was killing me so I popped it and then walked around for a minute trying to gather my energy.  I slowly ran back to my apartment, but every step was filled with pure anger.
How did this happen?? Yes, I haven't been running as much as I probably could have, but I still shouldn't be getting dizzy running such a short distance at a much-slower-than-what-was-once-my-race-pace pace.  I am so incredibly tired of always feeling sick, dizzy, and tired!  I feel like I've gone soft in all the wrong ways--like I've lost my fire and determination.  I have felt like I should already be racing in the "Master's" bracket, like all my glory days are over and that it's time to just slow down and take it easy.  But, today made me realize that I don't want that.  I want running back in my life as more than just a way to stay in shape.  I want to love it again.  I want to push myself again.  I want to race again.  I want to feel strong again.
I decided that it is time to set some new goals, start a training plan, and get my running life back.  It's time to stop ignoring these health problems, and start facing them head on.  I decided to arrange a meeting with a dietician to figure out what more I can do to keep my blood sugar in check, begin doing the core work that will help my back, and to create a training plan that I will stick to at all costs.  I picked a race that takes place in February and signed up for it.  Until then, I am laying low, avoiding racing, and taking a few months to gain my strength back.  I know that I have to be patient, that I will have to start over from square one and slowly build myself back into shape.  I know that I will have to invest a little extra time and money into my diet to keep myself from getting dizzy or passing out.  I know that the problems I'm having are real and that I need to stop treating my health like a game.

The bottom line is, I love running way to much to let this sickness keep me from continuing to work and improve.  I can't just tell myself that I have health issues, so it's time to put my PR's behind me and just accept the success that I have had.  I am just about to reach my physical prime, and am way too young to let myself decline.  I can't get rid of any of these problems, but I can take care of myself and make the most of what I have. 
I have not seen my last PR. Here's to several more years of improving, and an entire lifetime of running!!!

We'll Bring The World His Truth

My goal is to write this post without crying, but I honestly don't think that will be possible!
I'm sure that there were many times throughout my childhood that I felt the Spirit.  However, I can very clearly remember the first time that I actually felt it pierce my soul.  I was ten years old, sitting in Primary in the Bloomington Hills Third Ward.  During singing time, Sister Killian told us about the MTC and talked about how they brought everyone in, had them remove their coats so they were all in white, and they sang "We'll Bring the World His Truth."  Then, she asked us to stand like Future Missionaries and sing the song.  I remember the Spirit felt so strong.  That day, I decided to start being a better example.  I can't even describe the feeling I had as I looked around the room at my classmates that would be serving missionaries in the very distant future.



This is us three years after that experience!
Jandee Madsen, Vince Garcia,
Me, Darian Nielson, Russ Jones
(Not Pictured--Parker Sheeran)
 

Well, it turned out that future wasn't quite so distant after all.  Our little Sunday School class eventually all turned twelve and entered Young Men's and Young Women's.  I remember watching as each of the boys passed the Sacrament for the first time and I could not believe how quickly we were growing up!  One blink of an eye later, and those boys were graduating high school.



The Boys' Graduation 2011
Vince Garcia, Me, Parker Sheeran, Russ Jones, Jandee Madsen
(Not Pictured--Darian Nielson)

 

 

Growing up with these guys was so great!  I love them all so much.  Now, whenever I hear the song "We'll Bring The World His Truth" I think of that experience and am brought to tears because I think about....







Elder Darian Nielson
Ukraine, Kiev Mission
Ukrainian Speaking
 

 

Elder Vincent Garcia
Fiji, Suva Mission
French Speaking

 

Elder Parker Sheeran
Texas Fort Worth Mission

 

Elder Russ Jones
Pennsylvania Pittsburg Misison

 



I am SO incredibly proud of these young men who are all out serving the Lord!  The fact that all of these boys decided to serve a mission definitely says something about the amazing leaders and teachers (we still talk about how much we love the McEwens, who taught us for 3 or 4 years!) that we had in those earlier years where seeds were planted in our hearts.  I know that the road to this point was not easy for these guys, I watched each of them endure hard trials in their lives, some of them right before they decided to go.  I know that they are all where they are supposed to be and that they are preaching a message that is true and will change lives. 

 I'll never forget the feeling I had in Primary that day and I will always be thankful for the decision these young men, and thousands of other like them, made to serve a mission.



10 Things I Learned After 10 Days On My Own

1. Be very careful when walking across the kitchen while holding a raw egg.

2. If you want to get to know a place better, go for a run.

3. Toilet Paper, Paper Towels, Dish Soap, Hand Soap, Food, Detergent, Shampoo, Toothpaste, Mouth Wash, are all things that cost money every time you use them, so use wisely.  Also, they don't just magically appear when you're living on your own.

4. You're never too old to call your parents just to say goodnight.

5. Those absolutely annoying little brothers that never shut up? Ya, you might miss them when you're sitting alone in an empty apartment with nothing to do and no one to talk to.

6. You're not always going to have a never-ending list of people to call to hang out.

7. Pray, Pray, Pray, Pray, Pray.

8. You truly are never lost when you can see the Temple, even if the only view of it you have is a picture on your wall.

9. Be patient and non-judgemental with other people.

10. Enjoy what you have at the moment.  Lonely and bored?  At some point, you'll no longer have privacy or down time.  Busy, crowded, and exhausted? Well, at least you're not lonely and bored any more.  Sick of high school?  You'll miss it some day.  Missing high school?  Forget about it and enjoy college, you'll miss that one day, too.

A Random Little Trip to Provo

After a few long days of being alone in my apartment, Nefi and Austin stopped by on their way to BYU.  Nefi was going drop Austin off then come back the next day.  Right before they left, they asked if I wanted to come.  I knew that I could stay at Emily's for the night and I figured that I had nothing better to do, so I packed my bag and within five minutes, I was on the way to Provo!  It was super random, but it was way fun to be at that time in my life that I could do things like that just for the heck of it!



Austin, Me, Nefi

As we drove up there, I got the boys to play the "Question Game" with me.  It's the simplest, dumbest game, but I love it!  All you do is take turns asking random, deep questions that everyone, including the asker, has to answer.  We had some fun getting into deep analogies about Dobby the house elf from Harry Potter being a hero and things like that.  I love talking to these guys!  The drive went by super fast.

Me and Emily in her hallway.
 I love randomly telling people that we've been best friends for seven years.

Emily was super excited for us to come!  She, too, had been alone in her dorm for a few days.  She's been doing a week-long honors program, so when I was in her room with her she was mostly doing homework, but it was fun just to be together.  She told me all about her first days at BYU.  It was so exciting to see her there after listening to her plan on it for the last seven years!

Emily, Nefi, and Me with our huge, delicious Sno Cones!





Emily had class in the morning, so I helped Nefi and Austin get Austin all moved in and then sent him off to a leadership camp for the next couple days.  Nefi and I didn't have a whole lot to do after that, so we got some food, roamed campus a bit, made a hilarious poster to have Emily give to Austin, and then met up with my dad for lunch.  He was doing a little work at the Provo Macey's, but took awhile off to take Nefi and me to the Pizza Pie Cafe.  I LOVE that place!  It tastes great and brings back great memories of Cross Country and Track trips.  I stuffed myself full.  By the time we finished, Emily was done with class, so we met up with her and got some amazing sno cones. 

We chilled at Emilys house for a little while, and she told us all about the funny BYU people she has met so far.  We dropped Emily off at dinner, then headed home.  We had rented Hunger Games from the Redbox, but hadn't had time to watch it, so Nefi came over and watched it at my apartment before he headed home.  I had such a fun time on our random little trip! :)







80 Things Cross Country and Track Taught Me

Obviously, the people and experiences from XC and Track taught me a lot about running,
but they taught me even more about life.

1. Never, ever give up.

2. Success is not found inside of your comfort zone.

3. The pain of training hard is less than the pain of looking back and saying "I wish" or "If only."

4. Hard work pays off.

5. The most important voice in the world is the one inside of your head.

6. "There's always going to be someone prettier than you, there's always going to be someone smarter than you, there's always going to be someone faster that you."

7.  Family includes a lot more than just the people who share your DNA.

8. If you get your priorities in order, everything will fall into the right place.

9. The most important big thing is the sum of all the little things.

10. Some pains need special care, others just need to be pushed through--learn the difference between these.

11. "There are worse things in life."

12. The best kind of high is the one that results from your own success.

13. You don't have to be the best to have the most success.

14. You can't control whether or not you'll be the fastest, but you can be sure that you work the hardest.

15. You may wish you could be as great as someone else, but realize that there are people wishing to be as great as you.

16. Talent may get people to notice you, but your example will get people to remember you.

17. ^If you have both of these things and learn how to use them together, miracles will happen.

18. You may lose today's race, but that doesn't mean you can't win tomorrow's.

19. Don't underestimate the value of even one hundredth of a second.

20. Don't get caught up in the dramatic mind games of your rivals--just beat them.

21. Don't stop because you reach your goals--set new, greater ones.
22. Accept the fact that even though some people don't push half as hard as you do, they may still be faster than you.  We weren't created the same, that's just a part of life.

23. "A goal not written down is just a wish."

24. Complaining doesn't make adversity go away, it just makes it more miserable to endure.

25. Having good sportsmanship doesn't mean you're soft, it just means you're smart.

26. "All things are difficult before they are ever easy."

27. Learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.

28. Don't wallow in self-pity, just use bad races to fuel the fire and do better next time.

29.  "Everyone has excuses, but a champion never uses them."

30. The most important record you'll ever beat is your own.

31. There are bad practices, bad races, bad weeks, and even bad seasons.  It's not the end of the world.

32. It's not about training the most, it's about training the smartest.

33. Be patient with yourself.  Success doesn't come quickly or easily.  If it did, it wouldn't be success.

34. It's harder to choose to be positive than to choose to be negative, but once the decision is made, it's a lot easier on you to live positively than to live negatively.

35. Sometimes, bad luck can be a real factor.  Usually, it's just an excuse.

36. It's okay to be mad.  Just don't be mad for irrational reasons.  Sometimes, the only person to blame is yourself.

37. Burned out? Not a good excuse.  Just grab another match or find another fuse.

38. A decision, if made with real intent, only really needs to be made once.

39. There are people who know more than you--learn from them.

40. To be a real team, you need to do a lot more together than just train.

41. You can find good friends by finding people who you can get along with and bringing them around you, but you will find your true friends in the people around you that you learn to get along with.

42. What you get out of something depends on what you put into it.

43. Your Coach might tell you to do something that sounds ridiculously stupid, but if you go along with it you'll learn that there was a dang good reason for it.

45. The voice in your head telling you to endure a run can also be used to tell you to endure an assignment, a study session, or a long shift at the Sno Shack.

46. Sometimes, the best cure for a bad day is a few stupid, cheesy jokes.

47. People can give you work outs, cheer your name, or yell and scream at you to go faster, but, at the end of the day, the only person that can actually push you to your fullest potential is you.

48. Life might happen and you may have to walk away from your dreams.  But, if you walk away from them into the arms of people who love you, you can find the strength to be okay.

49. You can take your anger out on a pole, but in the end, you'll probably just end up with a broken hand and being even more angry.

50. Placement is only relative.  You can be at the very front of a race and having even boys try to draft off of you, but your PR's often come in a race where you're in the back.

51. Visualize. If you can clearly see things in your head, you can accomplish them with your body.

52. You can lose simply because of your attitude.  If you show up expecting to do poorly, you will.

53. As long as you're still standing, you can do one more mile. Period.

54. When you fall, pick yourself back up.  However, there are rare occassions where you can't pick yourself up.  These occassions are where you find out who truly loves you.

55. The best motivation is the voice of someone you love.

56. You can set all the goals that you want, but they're only realistic if you make and follow a plan for achieving them.

57. Nothing worth having will come without sacrifice.

58. Boys fart. But, if you get ahead of them, you'll never have to smell it.

59. Train when you're supposed to train and race when you're supposed to race.  Never get this mixed up.

 60. Laughing, crying, smiling, and yawning all cause chain reactions.

61. There's a difference between being confident and being prideful.  Be confident.

62. Pranks are fun if you keep them innocent.

63. A person that went from a ten minute mile to a nine minute mile has had every bit as much success as a person who went from a five minute mile to a four minute mile.

64. There's a champion inside of everyone.

65. Your body won't work if you don't fuel it.

66. Soda is bad...unless you're drinking coke in the middle of an ultramarathon.

67. "The greatest pleasure in life is doing the things people say you cannot do."

68. Actions speak louder than words.  Times, Placements, and Scores speak louder than trash-talk.

69. You can look down at the ground if you want, but you'll be a whole lot more successful if you just lift your eyes up just one little inch and see the world.

70. When it comes to love, "it's all a joke...until it isn't a joke anymore."

71. Listen to the people watching you, they can see things that you cannot.

72. Try Again. And Again.

73. YOU CAN be the change that you want to see.

74. Just because someone doesn't show it, doesn't mean they don't love you.

75. That person right there? Yes, you can pass them.  Just Kick. Hard.

76. "Just Do It." Every single day.

78. When you body has nothing left, let adrenhaline take over.

79. Heart and Mind are just as important as Arms and Legs.

80. "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."

Moving Day!!!

What an emotional couple of days its been! Wednesday was my last night at home.  I kept thinking that I wanted to spend the last hours of my childhood out with my friends at a concert, but I had a lot to do and I was already starting to miss my family, so I just stayed at home.  We went out to dinner at Costa Vida, and then came home where we all hung out and I continued packing.  Brianna and Staci, girls from my team, came over to say goodbye and we sat and talked for a minute.  I'm so proud of all of those girls, and I'm super stoked to watch them race this year! 
Early Thursday morning, I went to the Temple with Jake (and Austin Judkins).  I was SO glad we went because if there was ever I day that I need Temple Blessings, that was definitely the day! Going to the Temple on my moving day made me reminisce about my graduation day.  I had a lot of the same feelings--nervousness, excitement, sentimentality, sadness, accomplishment, etc.  That day, I also found myself at the Temple with Jake, and I was comforted.  That's exactly how this Thursday felt.  The Temple is my strength.
I drove the Pilot and followed my dad up to Cedar City.  It was my very first time on the freeway!  I was a little freaked out every time I looked in my rearview mirror and saw my bike bouncing around, and there was one scary construction zone, but other than that, I was totally fine.

My Little Corner: Before

My Little Corner: Complete



We unpacked a few boxes and then went to a shoe store, Lin's, and Wal-Mart to get some groceries and work clothes.  My dad helped me hang and organize things, but then it came his time to leave.  I wasn't able to hold back the tears.  I knew that it would only be a few days until I'd see him again, and I've said goodbye to him hundreds of times for longer periods, but it was the whole feeling of my dad leaving and me being (mostly) on my own.  I had a hard time entering this new stage of life.  After I finished hanging my clothes and had gathered myself together, I went downstairs and watched a little T.V.  Regan (Jake's cousin and one of my roommates), came and watched with me.  Her friend Kaycilia joined us for a little bit and we had some fun.  The Finaus came over and took me out to dinner at Pizza Factory.  After I got back, Regan, Kaycilia, and I went to go get sno cones.  The place we went to had exploding sno cones (they put pop rocks on top), it was super fun!  We came back and just watched some more T.V. until bed.

Ramen Noodles...I'm an official college student now!

This morning, I woke up and tried to get myself into a routine to make this adjustment easier.  I said my prayers, read my scriptures, went for a run, ate, showered, and cleaned my room.  By the time I finished all this, Regan left to go home for the weekend.  I was worried I'd be super lonely but so far it hasn't been bad.  After I made myself lunch (Ramen Noodles), then went to Lin's for my Orientation.   It looks like I'll be working with some great people! After work, I bought a couple more groceries and then went to the DI to buy a belt since mine broke in the move. 

Cut the recipe in half...three times.

When I got back to the apartment, I tried out a Pinterest recipe for healthy rice crispie treats using brown rice cereal, peanuts, sunflower seeds, peanut butter, and agave nectar.  I was supposed to heat up the nectar and pb on the stovetop, and I was getting super frustrated that it would not boil!  After about 20 minutes, I realized that I had turned on the wrong burner...oh boy.  In the end, though, they turned out to be delicious!
So far, I like the apartment, the people (even though I've only met a couple), and the town.  I feel comfortable here, but it's definitely not home!  Part of me is contemplating not going to school during Summer Semester and going home for a few weeks instead.  It would make this whole thing feel less permanent!  I guess I'll just cross that bridge when I get to it.

Decorated by Sentimentality

If, for some odd reason, someone wanted to know everything about me, the best way to find out would be by looking around my room and hearing the stories behind everything that covers my walls, bed, and shelves.  My room is completely decorated by sentimentality, I just love being surrounded by memories.  So, if anyone actually reads this blog and has the patience to read this whole virtual tour of my room, they will know me better than just about anyone!
As I started packing up my room yesterday and preparing to get rid of things that I've kept all of these years, I decided I wanted to take pictures of these things and remind myself why I held onto them.  Enjoy this virtual tour of my room!

My Bed

Green Blanket: Made for me by my mom years ago, so it's obviously special.

Green Pillow: Flashback to a cross country trip my sophomore year.  I'm sitting with Jake and we want to draw, but have nothing to draw on.  But, I had this ugly old pillow, and Jake had a pen.  Before I knew it, the entire team had drawn on it.  Then, we made a tradition to write our favorite funny quotes from each other all over it.  It reminds me of the way the team became an instant family to me and how, just after moving back to St. George, I realized that my best friends were the boys I'd known my whole life, but had at some point decided I was too cool for them.  When I began cross country and didn't know anyone else, they let me tag along with them.  Shallow as it seems, I thought that I'd just hang around them until I made friends, but they turned out to be my best friends!  That sophomore year is filled with amazing memories of them, and that pillow reminds me of it.

Tan Pillow: I'll never forget the YW trip to Timpanogas with the 3rd Ward.  It had been a rough summer since I had just moved back here and things weren't so great.  That hike was the first time I ever felt strong and brave and knew that I could help people.  It seriously changed my life.  After it, we all signed pillow cases, and I had some of the sweetest compliments on mine.  This is when I first started to realize that Heavenly Father brought me back here for a reason.

Purple and Green Pillow: Jandee's Christmas present to me in 8th grade.  When I lived in Layton, I slept with that pillow every night so that I felt a connection to St. George.

The Cheetah Print Sheet (Kind of hard to see, it's under the pillows): When the Region meet for cross country was coming up this season, I wanted a little extra luck.  Cheetahs are fast so...yeah I hoped the sheet would remind me to visualize the race each night.  And, I kinda hoped it had some luck in it, too! ;)

The Dolphin: I'm not sure if I have that thing because I love dolphins, or if I love dolphins because of that thing!  I honestly have no idea which cam first.  I just know that it was a gift from my dad when he returned from Monterey Bay when I was two.  I don't remember that far back, but I do remember when I was eight years old and my dad started working up North, so I only saw him on weekends until we moved.  I remember that I had a lot of different stuffed animals in my room, but when this separation began, I started sleeping with the dolphin every night.  I would hold it and stare at the picture of me and my dad at my baptism until I fell asleep each night.  From then on, it was a habit no matter where I was or if he was there.  If I couldn't find it, I wouldn't sleep until I did.  Yes, I a 18 years old.  Yes, I still sleep with it!  It's a complete habit now.  In fact, I can't even sleep without my arms wrapped around something.  If I'm out of town and don't have it, I had to snuggle with a pillow or something.

The Lamp

When we lived in our house on willow, I wanted this lamp for some reason.  After Christmas, I finally had the money to buy it for myself (which is a big deal for a fourth grader!).  I never turn it on anymore.  In fact, I don't even know if it still works!  But, it's been a valuable decoration to me.  Whenever we've moved, I've put different things on it.  In this house, it's been holding academic ribbons and medals, whistles from basketball games, and, more recently, my Honor Chord and Leis from Graduation.  Sophomore year, we had to write a poem about an object that reflected us, and I chose this lamp.  I wrote about the way it was different, but that's what made it lovable.  It had its own base, it didn't need to rest on a table or anything; it stood on its own.  Its arms all stretch out in different ways--always reaching.  Every time it moves, something is broken, but eventually, that broken thing becomes a strength and the lamp is more beautiful because of it.

Lion and Guitar

In third grade, I wrote a story about a kitten who did some brave things to help others.  Step by step, she eventually ended up looking into the mirror and seeing a lion because of her courage.  I ended up winning Region in Reflections for the story and was asked to stand up in front of my entire school and read the story.  My parents then gave me the lion and sewed the ribbon on it.  Looking at that lion always gives me inspiration when I'm writing.

The guitar isn't just a decoration, I use it quite a bit!  When I was 16, Bishop Sheeran told me he thought that I had some untapped musical talent and that he wanted to help stretch me.  He started teaching me to play the guitar and let me use one of his until I bought my own.  I've been self-taught since I learned my first few chords, and I'm still not good!  But, I know most of the chords that are in my singing range, and over the last year or so I've began writing songs.  I love it!  I always amaze myself by what I am capable of doing and the way that the music and lyrics just seem to fall into place when I begin writing.  I've never played for anyone but Jandee, Courtney, and Emily because I don't like my singing voice, but I've still enjoyed it!

The "People Who Have Changed My Life" Board:

One of my favorite quotes is "some people come into our lives and silently go, but others stay awhile and leave footprints in our hearts...and we are never, ever the same."  I have that quote on this board, along with pictures of my favorite memories and people.  I've filled it with pictures of people and events that I believe have truly made me who I am.  It's full of friends, coaches, teammates, etc.  This helps keep me from missing people, because it gets me to focus on how they've become a part of me and, because of that, will always be with me, instead of how they're gone.

The Dresser

The Flowers: A lot of different memories there! The first flowers in there were just part of the decoration.  Then, I added a bouquet I got from my last volleyball game with North Layton Junior High.  Then, I added two roses from different young women's events.  My favorite bouquet, though, is the one I got at State Cross Country my senior year.  I was having a horrible day being up there but not being able to run. I was watching the race and it killed me knowing that I was better than more than half of the girls that were able to run.  I was bawling my eyes out, and then a few of my sweet teammates brought me flowers they picked from the park.  They said it was my "Senior Night."  It was things like this that made the team such a family.  On my worst days, they always made me happy! 

Poem in the Frame: Junior year, I had no money for Christmas presents for Jandee, Courtney, and Emily.  At that time, we were all working on making decisions about colleges and life was finally starting to get real--I knew that goodbyes were coming soon!  I was thinking about all the memories the four of us have together, and, before I knew it, I had a poem about us in my head.  I decorated frames, printed the poem, and ta-da, Christmas was complete!

Picture and Album: Pictures of Jandee, Courtney, Emily, and me.

Dirtbiking Helmet: Yes, I miss dirtbiking, but that's not the only reason that the old helmet means so much to me!  Our "Dirtbiking Days" were during the happiest time of my family's life.  Back then, things seemed so solid.  It was the longest we had ever lived in one house and my mom had just finished designing it into her dream home.  We had a close ward family, we had a crazy little dog, and we had the dirtbikes.  We were never closer than when out riding with each other.  The helmet brings me back to the simplicity of those days!

Chicks Rule Posters: Funny little presents from my mom.

Blue Quote on the Wall: Given to me when I received Stake Recognition for my Personal Progress Award.  It talks about the qualities a young woman needs to perform miracles for the Lord.  I keep it by my door so that I remember to try to live by it on my way out for the day.

Magnet Board

A present from Jandee when I moved to Layton.

Medal Display

I'm not exactly sure what this little medall thing was meant to be, we just kind of found it before moving into this house. I started by hanging road race medals on this thing, but ended up using it to hold my racing shoes, time cards, ribbons, and a quote that says "If you have a worthwhile dream in your heart, don't erase it." It got too full to fit all of my bibs, so I started to be selective.  Now, it only has the bibs from my first Varsity race (Hurricane Invite Sophomore Year), State both years, my first Gold Medal 10k,  both Footlockers, and Nike Cross Regionals. Oh, the memories!

Necklace Holder

My mom spent hours and hours making this for me.  It's full of little hooks for all of my jewelry.  I also started keeping my corsages on it.  I remember which corsage was given to me by which boy for which dance.  Each one has a funny story.  The green one took forever to put on at my very first dance when I went to Homecoming with Kameron M.  The yellow rose started to fall apart at my Junior Prom with Vince.  Parker had a friend make the one he gave me for Prom my sophomore year.  Zak did the same thing for my Senior Ball.  When my very last dance came around and I had my dream dress, I didn't know how to describe the shade of blue it had, but the tag said "Peacock."  Jake said that he had kind of been jealous of the corsages other boys got for their dates at previous dances, so he called Bloomer's instead of Desert Rose.  When he told them the color, they laughed and told him they knew what he meant.  So, I ended up with a peacock feather on my corsage, and it matched perfectly!  The holder also has dozens of necklaces and hair flowers that my mom made, as well as old charm bracelets and my Disney pins.

The Little Corner

The picture of the Savior, the blue quote frame, and the white wedding dress quote remind me of my biggest goals.  The sea shell was a gift given to me by Marty and Linda Sheeran when they returned from a trip back in the days that I spent most of my waking moments at their house with Courtney and Parker.  The little Willow Tree box was given to me when I received my YW medallion in the third ward.  The picture frames were both gifts from Emily.

The Jerseys

Cross Country and Track have been the highlight of my life so far.  I invested most of my time and all of my heart in this.  The most rewarding moments of my life happened while I wore these jerseys.  I didn't think I could just throw them into a dresser drawer after all that!  Looking at them gives me determination to work hard in everything I do because when I wore them, I proved that it pays off.

The Desk

Cute picture of me in the mirror, huh? Haha. I wish I could take this desk to college.  My mom spent weeks painting, finishing, and basically completely restore this old DI dest.  The drawers are lined with scrapbooking paper and each detail on the outside is beautiful and specific. I love it so much!  She did the same with the chair and the lamp.  Luckily, I get to bring those with me.  On day, I'm going to get this desk back and keep it forever, because it will always remind me of my mom and her amazing eye for crafts and the way she paid such beautiful attention to detail.  Her personality is all over that thing.

The Cross Country Shrine

I loved Nike Cross Regionals!  I remember walking around with Jake and Kyle and stealing the flags from the course.  They are so cool-looking and full of memories.  The race bibs are from my worst races.  I wanted to always remind myself how horrible it feels to finish a race knowing that you didn't try your hardest.  So, I burned holes into the unlucky bibs and hung them up in my room with the words "pain is only temporary...race with no regrets."  The poster is the Senior Gift from Coach Fielding this year--the list of his best quotes, taken from my Facebook page.  The white piece of paper was slipped under the hotel doors of all the varsity runners the night before State my Junior Year.  Coach was so excited for us that he couldn't sleep, so he printed out some of his favorite famous running quotes and wrote us all a good luck message.  It was such a great surprise that morning!  The little board is a Lightning McQueen (my favorite superhero ;)) message board.  Attached to it is the little bit of inspiration I needed to get me through Nike, Footlocker, and Track Season.  After the disappointing race at Region, Coach Fielding gave me some comforting/motivating words.  I typed them up and put them there with a message telling me to prove him right to help motivate me for the coming races.

The Treasure Box

You know those stupid little things that you can't get rid of?  The little mementos from the best little moments of your life? Okay, maybe not everyone has those, but I sure do!  That' what the treasure box is for.  It holds so many things! The glasses I wore in 5th Grade, the Hall Pass I stole from the Orchestra Room Sophomore year thinking it would help me get out of class whenever I wanted, the certificate I got when I recieved my Young Womanhood Medallion, the shoe lace from my first real running shoes, the journal me and Courtney Sheeran used to pass back and forth, the stupid fish stickers from a Unified Studies trip, a copy of Thunderstruck, the pack of gum my mom gave me when she knew I was going to get my first kiss, the box I painted at (what I thought was) my very last mutual activity with the third ward, a pen given to me at Girls Camp one year, the invitation I made when I started the XC Sleepover tradition, a list of all my PR's over the years, the school record I took down before putting my own up, the hearts Jake used his money to make me buy when he was selling them for a HOSA Fundraiser, the remains of a confetti cannon Parker and me used at a basketball game, hair decorations from different dances, etc. etc.

It's not that I hold onto these things because I can't move on with life.  In fact, I think I'm really good at moving on and adapting to a new life.  But, these things help me look back and remember where I came from.  It's the whole Titanic you're-here-in-my-hear-and-my-heart-will-go-on thing.  These things aren't what make me who I am, but they're reminders of the moments that did make me who I am.  As I pack up and head to college, some of these things will be thrown away, some will be stored, some will come with me in "treasure" boxes, and a select few will come with me as they are.  But, I'm finally starting to realize that even without these little souvenirs, the memories will stay alive. :)

 

Sometimes, Regular Texting Gets Boring...

(The pictures got pretty blurry when I emailed them to myself, so I'll add subtitles. But no, I didn't use them in the real conversation!)

(Can you go either tomorrow or Thursday?)
*Pointing at a picture of the Temple*

 

Haha either would work! As long as we go in the morning.

Dang! I work at 8:45, so it would have to be early...

That's okay. Would you still want to play pickleball?

Haha cool. So what time?

(Too early?)

Haha I can't really see it...6?  That's fine with me!

(6:02, Actually)

Hahahaha sure. Whose turn to drive?

(I think I drove last 'cuz I remember Tiffany stalling...)
*Tiffany is the name of my car*

Haha this is hilarious! Wait so tomorrow? Or Thursday?

(Maybe tomorrow since they do pickleball lessons on Thursdays?)

Thursday mornings? Ok sounds good to me!

Hahaha how bored are you?

(I'm in a freezer holding a can of beans...get it?)

Haha ya I got it...cool beans.  But I'm just wondering how bored you'd have to be to think of that.

Not bored just a little too happy! haha so 6:02 tomorrow?

Yep!

Go to sleep!